Inspiration,

I've been thinking a lot about inspiration.  The other day I was asked to bring something in to class that inspires me, something non-photographic.  I completely froze up.  That should be easy, right?  But I can't bring in something cheesy like a photograph of friends of family or a boyfriend, that's not me.  I can't bring in books because I don't have any with me and honestly books are just a bunch of words that pass through me, some stick and some don't.  Clothes don't inspire me so that was out of the picture.  I was stuck, I barely brought anything with me to Boston.

I considered what it really means to be inspired by something.  I was set on this heavy, mind-blowing awe that comes over you, something that makes you DO and THINK. That has to be inspiration.  Then I thought over all the things that I have in my life, things I've experienced.  But inspiration doesn't always strike down like lightning, if at all.  It's little things, all around that group together and feel a certain way. It isn't material goods that inspire me.  It's something more abstract, something that I find in true friends, the way the light reflects on my window, the way I can almost feel my mind expand when I'm told something amazing, the way my heart explodes sometimes.  How could I ever capture that and bring it in to class?

What is inspiration particularly supposed to do anyway?  My photographs don't come out of some particular event, a book I read or a person I spoke with.  I can't be inspired by something and make it what I constantly think about for a project, it doesn't make me do anything immediate or substantial.  I work more organically than that, things come together with pushes and pulls, accumulation of experiences help me grow and stretch my process. 

I suppose none of this is actually coming to a point.  I guess I just freaked out.  When asked that question I felt like I should know exactly what to bring, what it meant to me and what to say about it.  I don't know if that's possible for me.

I think my answer is this:

I find inspiration in accumulation.

I think that's all I could really tell people.

 

© Rose Tarman 

Rose